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[09 Aug 2006|02:25am]
i cant decide which one i like better. but these are so far, the first decent up-front photos of me. yikes.





and i'm not even looking into the camera. i should invest in good sunglasses that won't further emphasise my tranny-ish features.
4 comments|post comment

pussy popping day [09 Aug 2006|01:38am]
somebody needs a change of oil.
and i mean ME.

:(

only god knows the fury of a girl unsatisfied. okay maybe not. :x

i actually found out i'm very reserved.. even with eddie. come to think of it, i've always been reserved.. i wish i could open up to someone. and then have mindblowing sex after. maybe not.

we've had wireless internet for 2 weeks now. and for the past 14 days, i've been going to bed (no, actually "going to sleep" since i'm on the bed WITH the laptop) at 3am, consistently. if only i had such intense enthusiasm towards my studies as i do toward clicking the refresh button on the fucking sgselltrade server, i'd have scored myself that SembCorp scholarship. or at least QUALIFY for it. see here's the deal:

i wanted to go to paris for the study trip thingy (ultimately because i wanted to escape the poly forum chalet, eeew). get this, the trip costs 3grand, before subsidy of course. and because i already visited FUCKING KOTA TINGGI with my classmates, i didnt qualify for subsidy for the paris trip. the school has some policy on 1-subsidy-per-student-every-3-years-shit. so, because i got a measly $70 subsidy for that kota tinggi trip, i wasn't getting the $1.5k subsidy for the paris trip. GAK SO UNFAIR!

so anyhows, i told my lecturer, Mr L about it. and he totally went ballistic on me, i don't know why. he was shouting at me in front of the whole class about how stupid the finance division in our school is bla bla bla but he made it sound like i did something ungodly that humiliated ngee fucking ann. fast forward a whole lot of shouting, i asked if he could help me talk to the finance div person. now get this, he really wanted me to go to paris so i'll be the poster girl of Mechanical Fucking Engineering in Ngee Fucking Ann Polytechnic. after a whole lot of trouble, he finally did get me that $1k subsidy. k lar, good for me, over the moon.

AND THEN SHIT HAPPENED. my trusty dad announced that he'd be retiring by year-end = no money for siti to go to paris. w0-i4v5vu01395iv censor censor censor. let's just say that i hope that fucking bitch in indonesia dies so he can't wire any more money to her. told Mr Jean i couldnt go for the trip. then 2 weeks passed and Mr L asked me how the trip preparation was going, in class. told him i had to cancel it (even though i passed the interview, which was done over the phone, excusez-moi) because of my dad. he didnt talk to me the rest of the day. FUCK? what kind of a lecturer are you? oh wait, i know. the kind that only shows up in the office at 8am and scuttles off at exactly 5 everyday just so he'll get a big fat paycheck every 11th of the month. motherfucker.

that same afternoon, he sent out a slew of e-mails (okay fine just 1. but it doesnt hurt exaggerating) regarding some SembCorp scholarship to fucking undeserving students. of course i wasn't in that list la. for obvious reasons. sigh. oh well it's okay. i hope that student who gets that scholarship will choke on all that rubbish SembCorp processes *evil grin*





i'm so horny. :( i wish i was a boy. so much easier to wank. :(

are lesbians more.. assertive? i wish eddie was a girl. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hint hint hint hint hint he probably won't read this anyway.

I NEED TO BURST. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

okay on to poor quality 2-megapixel grainy phone camera pictures! <3






i actually love my hair in these. can you believe it's tied up?! sigh i hate my hair. LOL

oh yeah and i captioned the last picture "this is my friend jonny from thailand. he just had his operation." on MySpace! LOLOLOLZZZX~!
6 comments|post comment

[16 Mar 2006|04:33pm]



i miss his old hair..




i wish we were like carlos and nicole.. :(
2 comments|post comment

a mannequin of sorts [12 Mar 2006|02:44am]
[ mood | but not really ]

sometimes i wonder.

3am (the unholiest hour)
donning neon pink 1980s dress,
with free expensive jeans..

unbalanced eyes,
some sort of hormonal imbalance.

i just want to sex you up
until we both bleed
but then,
are you worth it?
are we worth it?
for a moment, i think not.
and the next, otherwise.
i wish you knew how to show me you want me so bad.
or maybe you really dont want me that bad. dont want me at all?

and all i wanted was a simple thing, a simple kind of life. and all i needed was a simple man, so i could be a wife.

a high-class hostess,
beer and peanuts.
thats what my father said.
and a high-class hostess i will be.

i always was the one with all the love.
you came along, i'm hunting you down.

sometimes i wish for a mistake
but i am myself a mistake
a mistake you made
a mistake you dont want to erase

tonight i'll sleep in a bath of your beauty
wrapped in pressed wool
your dna trapped in its intrinsic structure
tricking love into tried and tired neurons
oh i love you so,
i'm deceiving you so.



"now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life"

2 comments|post comment

hier soir j'ai vu le diable dans le ciel [01 Mar 2006|05:02pm]
i am the secret housekeeper.
i know the nooks and crannies, the sexes and the cracks.
i talk to voices under the sofa.
i dance to the marble music the "neighbours upstairs" play.
i see new york out my window.
i see virginia and then south carolina.
i hide the pills so nobody will leave me.
i clean the ungodly stains in my pants.
i sweep life out from under the television set.
i fold the leaves of eden, cheap threads here and there and the occasional 20-dollar piece.

alors, je vais à l'école.

i really dont want to live. because i dont want to pay bills and see my 16-year-old daughter through her abortion(s).

</3
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some sgselltrade stuff [24 Feb 2006|09:53pm]
Necklaces for saleCollapse )
8 comments|post comment

parting words you won't like. [26 Sep 2005|10:29am]
imagine life in Sodom. wish i could. brave enough to push my lick in.
i'd like to think i('ll) lick good.
i know who licks good.

you can't really choose what you dream, can you?
if i could, i'd re-dream the 'next top model' dream i had a week or two back.
but this time i won't hold back. i'll stick my finger up, press my lips into her teeth.
oh but the thought of it.. makes me want to hurl the cat-food-on-toast i had an hour ago.
typically inactive; non-practising,
bisexual.

i know there are many of you who'll want to (try to) bash me. ;)
no thanks, but i get banged enough.

ally hilfiger? is that what she's called?
we'll just call her rich girl.
i wanna be her.
money'll get you anywhere; give you anything.
give you a pretty plastic face. yumm.
rich girl rich girl bo bich girl. banana fana fo fich girl. me my mo mich girl.

STICK AND RUN STICK AND RUN STICK AND RUN.

anybody can help me record the faders on MTV this saturday at 3pm?
i'll give you the VHS and haagen daz. flavour of the month of course; ce n'est pas cher.

love!
dont expect to be added.

d'accord
siti out.
9 comments|post comment

faux pleasure [19 Aug 2005|05:20pm]
i'll never find the words to describe.



its like driving down queenstown and margaret drive.
its like listening to garbage's "milk".
its like being 4.
it'll be like looking for an apartment in tanglin halt.
it'll be like being emiliana's keyboard.

and to prove to you i'm not self-centred, i'll tell you about my classmates. (what a mood killer for me)

kelvin skipped school from 9 to 3 and only came for math class from 3 to 5. he was at the hairdresser's the whole day and walked into class with a new shave and nice bluish ash patches in his head. and he didn't ask me questions every 5 minutes like he used to. :) but that's only because he decided not to do his work and was chatting on #aj.

harry's girl friend is having her n levels now so he can't call her at night as often as before/he'd like. he's still the smartest boy in class. and i'm the smartest girl in class. HAHA, don't you wonder how/why.

kathi watched slipknot for free and took tons of pictures. including one with the guys without their masks and make up on.

fitri is the only boy in our class who'll be going to terengganu for an excursion trip. and the other boys have forbidden him to talk to the girls there because he has a girlfriend already.

:x

okay, eddie talk-time! :D i miss my chouchou.
7 comments|post comment

best friend are worst enemies; taking back sunday should know. [16 Aug 2005|12:08pm]
god i'm such a fucking wimp.

YARGHYARGHYARGHYARGH

firstly, i'm happy nihaad is going to focus on her studies after the success of her gig.

second, i'm sad i didn't get to play a part in putting up snr's second instalment of ppp.

third, let's just say i'm not a good friend. no, no. this is gonna sound warped. but. to me, the best friend would say to my face what she HATES about me; what she just can't fucking stand about me. so up to date, i have like maybe 2 people in that list; plus some names who aren't so direct to me (read: i heard you heard she said something about me from something someone heard, bla bla bla). yes, i'm the worst kind of friend because i'll be nice to you; i won't say mean things to you.

BEEBEEBEEBAAAAAABOOOOOP

i feel like its my duty to protect dani. for reasons i cannot disclose. AHAHAHA
and i feel like slapping nihaad with a trout (ala mirc hohoho).
and i want eddie to shift house. pasir ris is evil, boy.

min, min bo bin. banana fana fo fin, me my mo MIN!!! *^*
8 comments|post comment

forgotten rockstars with lives going down,down,downhill. [15 Aug 2005|01:27pm]
[ mood | lovely ]

to the pathological liar and pseudo intellect in all of us,























cheers.

5 comments|post comment

[15 Aug 2005|09:10am]
the first morning apart killed.
waking up for a reason. this is not my life.




goodbye keyboard! WOOHOOOHOOOO!
just when i got inspired by mae's pianist.
but now it'll be put to good use. :)


being a straight-a student sure is hard work. hurhur
2 comments|post comment

rants [15 Aug 2005|08:26am]
sex at 9am
mambo italiano rock
halved chewing gum
police, cigarettes
les cigarettes
bank transfers like bah
3 million, four hundred and sixty thousand.
dollars, i wish.
old men in burberrys
jenny and marina.
marina and sofia.
bizarre love triangle new order.
black lies, white lies.
lies of different shades of grey.
friends
"that bitch. she thinks that she dont stink"
secrets you keep from friends.
"she thinks she's the queen of the neighbourhood"
excuse me mr russo.
je suis russe.
tu a stupide.
babelfish and translations.
wrinkling kd lang.
marduk sex.












OH IF I HAD A GUN, YOU'D ALL BE DEAD BY NOW.
1 comment|post comment

Fair enough. [07 Aug 2005|10:35pm]
Heartburn and an STD.


This miso soup paste I bought has alcohol in it. God damn ingredient labels. No more Genen miso soup or cookie dough Ben & Jerry's for me. BAH. Men.
13 comments|post comment

EMO ROCK CHICK PROM QUEEN (not a wannabe!) ;) [07 Aug 2005|11:47am]
And to the Arab Princess in our hearts, a mighty HAPPY SEVENTEENTH, YOU SUCKER!!.

Haha here's to the days when we behaved like we owned school, when we visited Joshua ever so often until one day he disappeared into the wilderness of Tekong, when we thought breezers were teh shit, which we spent painting our nails in your living room and then jumping into the pool, HUMPHREY HAN because, because, when we took the NEL together....

My head is spinning now. I miss everything.

Hope you had fun sheesha-ing last night. Haha :)
3 comments|post comment

[06 Aug 2005|12:20am]
Because all songs in E minor sound the same.

Because some bad friends grow onto you; into you. And then you realise life is nothing without filth; without them. It's alright. We've all been there. I'll wait for you at the other end.

Because some people are just plain neurotic. And because I'm too big a wimp to edit my friends list.
4 comments|post comment

he eats me good. [05 Aug 2005|12:25am]
You know, Shakira's "Underneath Your Clothes" is beautiful.
And what's more beautiful is the fact that I can finally relate to the part "there's a man I chose".
3 comments|post comment

[03 Aug 2005|12:13am]
You know you're not paying enough attention to your boyfriend when his Sims character has 2 gay partners.
5 comments|post comment

Stolen from Zal for Eddie to see. [01 Aug 2005|11:25am]

The Keys to Your Heart



You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.




Saturday, a van sped past the red light a hit a young boy.
4 comments|post comment

They're just doing this for their 10%. [28 Jul 2005|12:42am]
Bitchy lecturers and lazy, asinine project mates suck balls.
:(

I'm joining GSF.

Lucky media students get to discuss FGM and stuff while we engineering students try hard to sound smart rephrasing "extended family living is encouraged by the government through the use of grants and incentives". We're blasted at (by the lecturer) for saying out our sour real views. She just wants to hear "I think that the government is also trying to play it's part to build up the bond between the family". Everyone ends their comment with a smiley for fear that people will get offended by their comments so it serves as a pre-truce thing. Fuck? So much for Board Discussions. I'm gonna be a comment-whore and reply to everyone's comment on the forum.
13 comments|post comment

Gay teens executed in Iran [24 Jul 2005|10:49pm]
http://direland.typepad.com/direland/2005/07/iran_executes_2.html

(Dee, I hope you don't mind me putting this up)

We're lucky the whole world isn't Muslim. If not, 10% of the population would be hung/stoned/chopped/pushed off a cliff just for loving someone of the same sex.

And another 50% wiped out because they had/(ve) sex before marriage.

By the standards of these bloody Iranians anyway. It's like a worldwide holocaust.

(They continously violate international laws of the CRC)

Seriously, I NEED to be agnostic. Or atheist. Or whatever. I'm going to hell anyway. :D See all of you there!
8 comments|post comment

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